My own value system, perhaps based on what it's like to be raised by people with a different set of values, includes the following:
- Don't have a kid if you aren't willing to make this new person a very high priority for the next 20 years.
- If things don't work out with a partner but you have a kid together, you still have to make the kid a priority until the kid is 20.
- I don't care how great your new partner is, a new relationship and/or a new kid does not mean the old kid is any less of a priority.
- By priority, I mean spend time being a parent. I don't mean money.
- By being a parent, I mean be consistent, listen, and remember that a kid is a kid, not a small adult.
- Giving a kid what they want is usually a bad idea. Giving a kid what they need means YOU have to be responsible and help them grow.
- If you are choosing between caring for your kid or anything else, you're looking at your life wrong.
- Being a parent is important. Anyone can contribute DNA, but not everyone should. Know thyself (and your partner!).
- It doesn't matter if your kid likes you. If you are trying to please your kid, you're looking at your life wrong.
- If you've been CONSISTENT while they were little, as they get older all you'll have to do is LISTEN and LOVE. If not, you may want to put 9-1-1 on speeddial.
great points...that why i still have no child!!
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