Thursday, January 27, 2011

Parenthood

My own value system, perhaps based on what it's like to be raised by people with a different set of values, includes the following:

  1. Don't have a kid if you aren't willing to make this new person a very high priority for the next 20 years.
  2. If things don't work out with a partner but you have a kid together, you still have to make the kid a priority until the kid is 20.
  3. I don't care how great your new partner is, a new relationship and/or a new kid does not mean the old kid is any less of a priority.
  4. By priority, I mean spend time being a parent. I don't mean money.
  5. By being a parent, I mean be consistent, listen, and remember that a kid is a kid, not a small adult.
  6. Giving a kid what they want is usually a bad idea. Giving a kid what they need means YOU have to be responsible and help them grow.
  7. If you are choosing between caring for your kid or anything else, you're looking at your life wrong.
  8. Being a parent is important. Anyone can contribute DNA, but not everyone should. Know thyself (and your partner!).
  9. It doesn't matter if your kid likes you. If you are trying to please your kid, you're looking at your life wrong.
  10. If you've been CONSISTENT while they were little, as they get older all you'll have to do is LISTEN and LOVE. If not, you may want to put 9-1-1 on speeddial.

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