Self-Doubt Attacks!

I am surprised to find myself lacking in confidence and conviction. It is very uncomfortable!

I am now a personal trainer. I have been interested and active and informed about fitness and fitness-related areas in a more-than-average fashion for many years (with a 2-year hiatus due to a car accident and a nasty fibro flareup). I am very fit and very strong.

Yet I can't seem to meet my own fitness goals.

Well... that's not entirely true. I set a goal of running a 10K race, and met that after 3 months of training. I discovered along the way that I don't enjoy running much. But, if I ever needed to run at a fairly slow pace for an hour or longer - say, escaping a vicious, geriatric killer, or a zombie, I could. Both categories of potential attackers are notoriously slow. As am I.

I also set a goal of returning to my pre-accident/illness flexibility, strength, and weight. I've done that. Which is quite a huge accomplishment, and one I tend to dismiss because it took a little bit of work... every single day. A bit like brushing my teeth. I do it every day, and while I enjoy compliments on my great teeth and smile, I don't feel particularly proud to still have teeth. But back in the day, when people didn't know about teeth-brushing, lots of them had no teeth left by my ripe old age of 37. So, while my amazing progress is wonderful, it's also no surprise.

So what am I feeling so discouraged and self-doubting about? Well, it seems I still have a high percentage of body-fat. This doesn't make sense to me scientifically, as I:

1. am reasonably careful about my diet (far more than most people, but I don't completely exclude treats or meals out).
2. have lifted weights consistently over the past two years with the purpose of increasing muscle fibres and muscle density. This is not only to give my body a shape I like, but muscle needs more calories to sustain even just sitting around, so more muscle = more calories burned just doing nothing.
3. am an active person, participating in aerobics classes, cycling all over town to run errands, and other kinds of aerobic training.

I just don't get it. And I think I should, given my knowledge and experience. So... bring on the self-doubt.

Actually, bring on consulting someone I trust to know better. I don't have to have all the answers, I just have to care enough to find someone who has the answers I need. For now.

Personal Trainer In Training

I have been spending a couple of hours twice a week with a personal trainer at my gym. Boy am I learning a lot!!

The goal of this time is for me to gain practical experience as a personal trainer. If I had this job, at my gym, I would be responsible for developing programs for all sorts of people. I would also be responsible for just being there to answer questions, to help someone with form, suggestions, or as a spotter. I'd be there in case of emergencies and to do some light cleaning, such as emptying all the wastepaper baskets of the tons of paper towel that get tossed in there after clients wipe down their machines.

I was aware of some challenges going in:

1. I am officially fluent in Dutch, but the fitness world has a jargon all it's own. I am often unfamiliar with the names for things. What's more of a challenge is knowing how to explain to people how to perform exercises.
2. I am not sure how to balance working with people as both an authority figure and a partner in their progress.

I have discovered that the language problem is really more of my problem than an objective challenge. Memorizing specific phrases, using body language, and using English if I get desperate are all fairly simple solutions. (Most Dutch people also speak at least reasonable English, sometimes also another two or three languages.) I just have to let go of that perfectionism that sometimes stops me from trying if I don't feel certain.

The part about balancing how I work with people leads me to the challenge I found once I started practicing what I've learned. And that is: Find the beginning, and start there!

The feedback I've gotten has been that I can improve in three key areas:

1. Keep it simple ~ The clients need to know in summary that their program will get them to their goals. If they are interested, they'll ask for more information.
2. Keep it short ~ The clients need to know what to focus on. That's it.
3. Keep it fun ~ The clients need to enjoy their workouts and see results.

This new path I'm trying out is a challenge! But, it's one I can definitely meet. It will call for patience, attention, and practice.

Super-Proud of Me

I am so pleased with how I'm developing as a person.

Back in May I got a new job working at a gym. It's the gym I've belonged to since shortly after I moved to Holland. It's a great place, here's the link if you want to check it out: warning, the website is not the best and it's all in Dutch!

Anyway, my goal in working there was to get acquainted with the Dutch working culture (which is very different than what I'm used to in Canada - I'll blog about that soon). And, to improve my Dutch to the point that I could later get a job which relies on my ability to communicate, which are the kinds of jobs I always had in Canada.

My current job is mostly great. I'm a receptionist, but it's not like anything I'm used to in Canada. I work about 3 shifts per week - none of them are great shifts in terms of fitting into the rest of my life, mostly evenings and weekends, which is the not-great part of my job. The great part is huge. I have great colleagues, I can easily do the job itself, the challenge is indeed the language and so I can happily leave my work behind when I go home for the day. As a receptionist, I answer the telephone and make reservations for guests to play squash, tennis, or participate in a group class such as spinning. I take messages for the administration, pass on concerns and compliments from guests to colleagues, sell products such as towels, rackets, and sunbed-glasses. I explain and sell memberships, turn on the steamroom and sauna, chat with guests about everything under the sun, and accept people's membership cancellations.

90% of what I do I do easily and well because the job relies on my personality. I am great with people, and even when I first started, when my Dutch wasn't so great, everyone could still communicate with me and enjoyed asking me about my accent and telling me about their trips to Canada. The downside to the job is that it doesn't ask enough of me. And I knew that right from the start.

So what I did was start taking a personal training course. I used the down time at work to study - sometimes there is a lot of downtime, and although I can wander off to get a cup of tea, help a guest with something, or go to the bathroom, I am supposed to mostly be sitting behind the desk in case the phone rings or in case a guest needs me. So I used that time to study, and I studied very hard, and I did extremely well on my exam.

Then I talked to my boss. I explained to him that even though I have all this knowledge, I didn't feel I could move forward without experience. He offered to let me work with the trainers at the gym, and although I wouldn't be paid, and there wasn't a job opening right now, I could do that for as long as I liked.

I think that is awesome. He's confident enough in my personality, my professionalism, my knowledge and my ability to let me represent his gym in a new way. And he doesn't make it easy for me. The first client on the first day, he went through his normal routine, although of course he introduced me to the client, and asked me a couple of questions along the way. The second client, he asked me a lot more questions. Afterwards he pointed out things I can improve.

It won't be easy, but on the other hand, I know exactly what he's talking about, and I can try to focus in on those areas.

And he invited me to take on more responsibility working with him the following week.

I'm proud of myself because:

1. I set a goal of improving my Dutch - and met it.
2. I set a goal of learning about personal training - and met it.
3. I established trust and professionalism, which opened the door to getting some practical experience as a trainer.
4. I am getting that practical experience, which is an ongoing challenge.
5. I can see that I can do anything I want to do. There is no door closed to me, except the ones I choose not to open.

Fitness Forward

I'm almost finished my personal training course. I have still to finish my online final exam, and wait a week for the results. I also have to complete a first-aid course and submit the certificate in order to get my personal trainer certificate.

The course I took is the one offered through the ISSA, but it is an entirely theoretical course. Fortunately for me, I already work at a gym (called a sportschool in Holland). I talked to my boss, and he's agreed to let me shadow the personal trainers up to four mornings per week for pretty much as long as I like. I won't get paid for it, and he doesn't currently have an opening for a new trainer, but he has no problem letting me get some experience and insight into what actually is expected when doing the job.

It is different here in Holland than in Canada. In Canada, my experience with the fitness industry is a lot more like what you see on shows like The Biggest Loser, where the trainers push their clients to make major changes. In Holland, people take it much easier. Even if they want to make major changes, they do it slowly. It is quite common that people make an appointment with a friend to do something sporty, like taking a aerobics class or playing tennis or squash together, every week. It is a lot like how Canadians meet each other for coffee or to go shopping!

In any case, the course I did was in English, so there are quite a few things I'll be learning during my shadowing.

1. Names of body parts, exercises and muscles in Dutch
2. How to explain ideas and exercises
3. How to match someone's goals and personality with a program
4. How to teach them the program
5. How to work with them to succeed

I'm pretty excited about this opportunity! I don't know if I want to be a personal trainer myself, but fitness has been a hobby of mine for quite some time. I took the course with the idea that if it was only for my own personal benefit, then it was still worth it.

I have noticed some changes already. Learning how to work with a client can only continue to help me. I have tended to create awesome, yet unreasonable, workout plans for myself. After learning only theoretically how to make a plan for someone else, I started to make more reasonable plans for myself. I noticed my success improving as I was able to reach my much more reasonable goals for my fitness activities.

I want that to carry over into other areas of my life. The more I learn to set myself reasonable, achievable goals, the more I will succeed at what I want to accomplish. And fitness is a great start!