Fear Doesn't Stop Me

So I did have to call that former friend's mother to get my keys and bank-pass back. I found the whole experience very upsetting, but I am glad that my life is not cluttered with someone like A anymore.

I know A's mother personally, in fact, she's also known as my Vancouver-mom. She's also my real-estate agent, and a fine one at that. I had asked her to handle selling my Canadian property prior to all of this blowing up with A, and I have to admit, I was nervous about going forward since I knew her through A.

Of course, she and my mother know each other, and she came to my wedding as my guest, so my personal and professional relationship with her has nothing to do with her kid. But still.

It was really tough to call her. I felt there was a lot at risk. For one thing, calling her and asking for her help in dealing with A was my final surrender that good times, trust, or even basic human interactions with A were a thing of the past. I had to admit to myself that A is no longer someone that has meaning in my life. I also felt a bit uncertain asking for help in dealing with her. A's behaviour had become so bizarre that I couldn't handle it on my own.

Now, perhaps A's refusal to speak to me is not in itself bizarre, but to refuse to speak to me or to my cousins, and to refuse to return house keys and a bank-pass... that is not just unpleasant and passive-aggressive and childish, but aggressively irresponsible! And none of those things were what I expected from A. So, while that unpleasant surprise is disappointing, at least I know more now.

I was also a bit fearful that A's mom would have chosen sides in some way, and be unable to maintain our relationship. That would be too bad no matter what, but it would also be very inconvenient to search for a new real estate agent I could trust, from Holland.

Fortunately, A's mom was pleased to hear from me as usual, and happily offered to help me get my things returned to my cousin, and assured me that A had nothing to do with us.

I'm really glad that J encouraged me to rehearse what I wanted to accomplish, so that I didn't drag A's mom into my sadness or hurt over A's behaviour. And that I made the call and got what I needed done. I'd already delayed several weeks because I knew A's new boyfriend was visiting, and it was Christmas and then New Year's and I didn't want to be causing her a problem.

How nice of me.... especially when I now see that my being so thoughtful was actually just avoiding a confrontation. Sigh.

But I did it. I was nervous and uncertain, and I did it anyway. Isn't that great! And A dropped everything off with a cousin the next day. Yay!

Attempted Break-in!!

Some idiots tried to rob us!

We weren't home at the time, but our neighbours heard some suspicious noises. They looked out their window, and saw a couple of guys in our backyard. Then they heard a window break. They called the police immediately.

Another neighbour's teenage daughter was home alone, and heard about the police being called, so she called her older brother and told him about it, and asked him to come home.

He came, with his friend, his friend's large dog, and carried a screwdriver as a potential defensive weapon. They went over to our garden, and nothing seemed to be going on. They walked around again, and the police met them. The police arrested them as the suspects!

When we got home about 3 hours later, the father of the young man picked up by the police came over to our car to let us know what happened. I'm glad he did, because it was a bit upsetting to walk in even knowing what had happened.

No one actually came in, so of course nothing was stolen. But there was broken glass all over our back-door entry area, which is basically our kitchen/dining area. There was a huge stone in the kitchen, and a big dent in our fridge. The glass-setters had already been by, arranged by the police, and have put up temporary glass. But of course the temporary solution isn't weatherproof, and it is cold and drafty by the window now.

J went to the police station to file a report, even though we saw and know nothing. Filing a report with no information took him almost 45 minutes. He just shook his head that filling in paperwork takes so long, even when there is nothing to fill in!

So, we're shaken but not stirred. We're still walking carefully with shoes on, even though I am pretty sure I cleaned up every shard. I guess that careful feeling will last a while. I'm looking forward to moving back into an apartment when we get around to moving though!

Poo On My Shoes

Today I went to the gym. Usually I bring my sneakers, but I was running late so I just wore my sneakers.

The recent frost seems to have melted. I know this because the unpleasant odor coming from my shoes was thanks to my cat. The one that wants to go outside all the time. Now I know why.

She likes to go poo just outside the door to our shed, where I keep my bike. Nice.

I hate gardening, but I guess I'll have to go out with the shovel and shovel up cat poos along with any weeds I can dig up. I feel that since we moved into this house, I've done nothing but dig up weeds. I had no idea how much work a garden is. Next house will be an apartment! No stairs, which my knees don't like, and no garden!!! And, bonus... no cat poos!

A Dutch Christmas

Christmas is far less important in Holland than what I was used to in Canada. And I am lucky enough to have awesome in-laws with whom to spend Christmas!!!

Saturday afternoon, the tweede Kerstdag, we headed over to my mother-in-law's apartment in downtown Leiden, and were greeted with three kisses, a hug, and a cup of tea. As a Dutch friend of mine explained, Dutch people always offer a cup of tea or coffee before you've had time to take your coat off because they worry you may have travelled as much as 30 minutes to get to their home, and are thus on the verge of falling faint with exertion. Canadians will laugh at that, given that it takes 30 minutes just to get to the grocery store. A few hours travel to visit a friend or family member is not unusual!

Exchanging gifts for Christmas isn't a tradition within our family, but I don't know if that is just our family or all Dutch people. We did have a special meal, but it was nothing traditional, just very nice. My sister-in-law is a wonderful cook, and always prepares a meal that is not just delicious but also looks great. I'm a great cook too, but I tend to plop my meals on the plate, whereas hers are much prettier to look at! Unfortunately, my laundry is a little behind so I was wearing my tight pants... and couldn't eat as much as I wanted!

We then played games. We played a game with quiz questions about the Elfstedentocht, which, suprisingly, I did fairly well at. Until the end, when one roll away from the end, I got a bad-luck card and had to return to the beginning. Sigh. We played the boardgame for Ik hou van Holland, which I actually won!! Which is a surprise, since the only answers I could really give were guesses! Then we played a game about grocery shopping which was a bit silly, and then Dutch Scrabble... I came in last, but with only 17 points between me and the winner!! I'm quite proud of my Dutch language skills!

Then we chatted a bit longer, and went to bed. The next morning the four of us walked around a couple of neighbourhoods in Leiden as my husband and I are thinking of moving there. And then Sunday afternoon we headed home.

It was nice and relaxed (and delicious) and all done in Dutch! I'm so blessed with a wonderful family in Holland!