I really like people to know me, see me, understand me. But not everyone can, nor does everyone want to. Shock!
There are a few people in my life that I don't want to have close at all anymore. For whatever reason, I just don't admire or respect them the way I want to admire and respect the people I keep close. So I'd like to just let go.
But they won't go.
Some of them I'm related to, some of them are friends of family, some of them have just been around for a long time. And all of them I'll most likely see or hear from again. I've actually just come to realize that people rarely disappear, they just go into hiding. Sometimes when they reappear it's a joy, other times I just have to figure out how to negotiate those social occasions without getting involved.
Anyway, so these people that won't go away... I don't want to behave unkindly, even though I have nothing kind to say to them. I have nothing to gain by being honest or open with them, by telling them how I feel, what I want from them or for them. Well, except that they might be so irritated they would go away... but then I'd have to see them again. And be confronted with my lack of gentleness with them.
But I don't want to molly-coddle people I just don't like. I just want to figure out the bare minimum required to reduce contact as much as possible.
So I will say, "thank you" to reply to nice things said and done, but "no thanks" to any suggestion that I want to connect. I'm busy that day.
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