I'm really tired. I've been getting up this week with J, and most days going to the gym for the 9am class. I've also been going to bed with J.... far far too late.
I hate going to bed by myself. I just lie there, alone with my whirling thoughts. At least when J comes to bed, we talk for a little while, and that seems to take the edge off the sharpest thoughts. I still don't fall asleep until at least 30 minutes after he does. Which is really quite annoying.
I need quite a bit of sleep. If I get good, uninterrupted sleep, I do great on about 8 hours. But that's counting after I fall asleep. Currently, I spend at least 1-2 hours just falling asleep. And usually my sleep is at least somewhat interrupted. I have to pee, or I am in an uncomfortable position, or I have nightmares. The nightmares aren't all that scary, just very stressful. Last night, one that I remember was I had used a public bathroom (not the stressful part yet) and went to wash my hands, but motor oil came out of the soap dispenser. And someone said they were going get more soap, but never came back. Very stressful.
I wonder how to improve being able to fall asleep. I'm tired, don't get me wrong, I'm probably over-tired by the time I get to bed. Hmmm... maybe that's it! Go to bed when I'm tired, before I get exhausted.
I'll try it.