Thursday, March 3, 2011

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

I am so done. Everywhere I turn I see stuff I'm in the middle of! I know it's all leading somewhere good, but I have to learn how to set limits.

I feel that I barely get time to rest before it's time to start up again. I miss my husband!! I haven't socialized with my friends in a while. My weekends are booked, my evenings are booked, my days are full, and I am pooped.

Everything in my agenda is something I want to do. My husband thinks I do a lot, meanwhile I look at my living room and see the mess I didn't clean up. Yet. And it's 1am.

I am really curious about how to change my attitude here. I can see that it's bad for me. Trying to do too much at once is such a pitfall for me. Sure, it's all good, fun, interesting stuff. But too much means I don't get to relax into each thing, because I have to work on whatever it is right now so that it's done in time. Too much means I don't get enough sleep, and that I feel stressed when I'm awake.

But how can I say no to a good thing? I seem to have no sense of time. All of you who have waited for me know that already!! But I mean a sense of time in a more transcendental sense. I can't set a priority, because I seem to see everything as happening all once. As though life is not a series of events, but a herd of buffalo stampeding over me. I see no cycles, no growth, only sudden and unexpected happenings.

Well, now that I write that, I realize I am starting to slowly see some cycles and some growth, but mostly I feel that I experience life all at once. It's really very tiring.


No comments:

Post a Comment