What a relief! All the drama that has gradually been ebbing away from those two former friends is finally 99% gone! That 1% can linger as long as it needs to, it doesn't hurt at all.
I somehow just realized that nothing bad happened anyways.
I didn't like how either of them behaved, that's why I chose to no longer be friends. At the time what really caught my attention was how surprised (and hurt) I was that they behaved in hurtful ways. And that was the trigger for me to seek out learning about myself and what I value through my life coaching. So ultimately, I'm grateful for those two floozys* (floozies?) for helping me to see who I am more clearly. In a way, it was just a super-mean version of when Alex visited - I got confronted with an alternative image of myself and chose whether it fit or not.
And the image that now fits me is one of confidence and grace. I forgive those two so ultimately and completely because I see that they were just being themselves. The behaviour I didn't like I'd previously seen time and time again. The last time was just the last time for me, not the last time for them. Of course the kind of person I am is going to have run-ins with people I think behave selfishly, irresponsibly, dishonestly, or unkindly - especially those who backbite!!! And since I'd seen it with these two before, it was just a sign of my growth that I wasn't willing to have it in my life anymore. It was still surprising how hurt I was, but that's what sent me off to learn more, so no regrets!
I think now that I was looking at my friendships through rose-tinted glasses - I saw those qualities I didn't like, but thought it'll never happen to me. And then when it did, I was totally shocked, even though it was predictable. Of course I expected too much, there wasn't much that they had to give. What I find joyful about this experience is feeling excited about letting that rose-tint fade away until I have more clarity about the people around me. And what a delight to know there's nothing wrong with me! I just prefer to be close to people whose values are more compatible.
*As I read this post now, I feel that I've painted a very black-and-white picture. This is not intended as a good-evil polemic but to express my confidence and satisfaction these days and my lack thereof back then.... if that makes sense! And yup, floozy means exactly what I intend to convey!
Loving Yourself
Friendship
Happiness
Change
Clarity
Expectations
Acceptance
Fun
Forgiveness
Family
Fitness
Focus
Fatigue
Goals
Intimacy
Personal Training
Trust
Kindness
Love
Anger
Fibromyalgia
Bahá'í
Faith
Languages
Loneliness
Mood
Success
Health
House Hunting
Social Customs
Work
Religion
Sports
Inner World
Privacy
Travel
Cats
Cooking
Dancing
Games
political philosophy
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