I've been having a few weeks of highs and lows! I'm back on medical leave due to stress (this happened several years ago, and two years after that the fibro blew up to the point that I was off work for a long time), my employer decided not to extend my contract - no big, I only wanted to stay if I got to work in the fitness, and I guess there were no opportunities for that for me, but still a bit of a surprise, and my life-coaching is getting more and more intense!
I have been watching the TV show Private Practice, and although I am usually offended by how silly the characters behave around sex and relationships, I find the plots intriguing - and I love most of the women's wardrobes! On a recent episode one character was explaining why she couldn't follow her heart: she had too many responsibilities. Another character responded by telling her that all those responsibilities were just excuses for her to not be loved.
I loved that. It's so true, at least for me! I get so busy achieving, and tell myself that achieving this or that will make me feel good... but of course it is never enough. I don't want to be the most successful, accomplished woman in the universe. I want to be loved! So achieving doesn't help me, it just distracts me.
And of course I am loved by others, no doubt about that. But often I don't feel that love, because I am still learning to love myself.
Time to stop trying to achieve and focus on enjoying myself - and enjoying me.
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